Unlocking the Future

While snow, cold, and ice (also ICE) have had the eastern side of the country in a lock, here in the Pacific NW we’ve seen bitter cold, unseasonable warmth, and—always—rain. When it’s sixty degrees, I remind myself it’s not spring. When it’s twelve degrees, I remember it is winter. I wish it would snow, but it doesn’t do that here much anymore, though it did in mid-February last year. Hope springs a turtle.

The four seasons model has tricked us into unreasonable expectations. Kurt Vonnegut, in Palm Sunday, and Mary Jo Hoffman in her book, Still, proposed two additional seasons are in play. They call them “Locking” (November-December) when nature locks down, and “Unlocking” (March-April) with its gradual release from winter’s grip. Though here in the far west, where the natural world is already unlocking, the timing is different from their eastern U.S. homes. Make up your own: Mud? Monsoon? Lady-beetles-in-the-house? Define them any way you want! 

Inner seasons don’t fit expectations either. It’s early for my inner unlocking; I am usually resistant to letting go of winter before April. I did get out of the cozy chair in the corner for ninety minutes of yard work one recent warm day, and was grateful I no longer have to do it all. It messes with my desiccated disk. Ah, age. Good to have a concrete reason for hiring help. The next day I went for a hike before the rains returned. Then returned to the chair. Unlocking is slow.

I’m cautiously unlocking dreams too. A road trip to the canyons national parks in autumn—during locking season? If not now, when? Tick tock—a powerful motivator.

I read recently that “what if . . .” is a younger person’s question. What if I take a road trip? What if I move closer to my grandchildren? (Speaking of tick-tock—they are getting older faster than I am.) Simply asking “what if” doesn’t serve third act-ers, it’s overwhelming, and dreams can’t be too far distant. A better question, the author of the quote suggests, is “what would it take?”

That question unlocks my imagination, and measurable steps can override the voice that whispers, you can’t, you won’t, it’s too hard. What would a road trip take? I’ve ordered maps of Utah and Colorado from AAA. It’s a start. What would it take to move? I made a list, and a week ago my sisters and I gathered and emptied clothes bags and closets of what was left of my mother’s clothes; along with emptying a jewelry box and a linen cabinet. We’ll gather monthly to find things to hold and then let go of.

Also on my Be Ready list (see last month’s letter), is preparing for the end. Last month I researched, signed onto, prepaid for an Earth Funeral. Next up: get end-of-life paperwork in order by true summer. I purchased a planner. Next step: take it off the shelf. Once that’s done, it can be let go of to get back to the business of living large. Except during unlocking season, when I enjoy the quiet.

Small steps. It’s how we all learned to walk.

🌦 🌦 🌦

I would love to hear from you! What is your current inner season? What are your longings or goals? What is one step toward making it happen? What have you done in the past that seemed unachievable at first blush?Leave a comment below.

And some uplifting music to lighten you day! As my friend says of it, “It feels just-right for this moment — ‘we’re never one thing, not one thing at all’ — whether it’s winter-turning-to-spring or rage and hope living side-by-side inside of us.” (If  the ad comes up, wait a second, then you can skip it.)

I’m the underbelly, I am the claw
Never one thing, no, not one thing at all
I’m a street fighter, I’m a prayer for peace
I’m a holy roller, I’m a honey bee

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